Tuesday, May 15, 2007

A worthy day to get out of bed (I suppose)

Today I will be attending a Fred Pryor seminar, to enhance my already well honed supervisory skills. The seminar, entitled "Dealing With Difficult People" promises to illuminate and educated my mind on a persistent hardship in my life. Every day is the same, I awake before dawn with that familiar sinking feeling: Oh shit, I have to deal with "those" guys today. My job entails outlining work for a group who, in varying degrees, have done the same or similar jobs for a longer period than I have roamed the planet with descended testicles. How do I motivate and inspire people who find the greatest pleasure in breaking my aforementioned external reproductive organs? In the interest of fairness, they are not all the same sort of difficult, and some bear a great deal more malice than others. Some are just stuck in their own quagmires of mental dullness, emotional stagnation and physical roundness. The latter, the more rotund, suffer from what we call "fat aggression" or "fitness envy". There exists a great deal of intolerance, especially toward me, as I am thinner, smarter and better looking then they. To make matters worse, some assume that I am wealthy beyond measure, but this would be a mistake. I am not starving, but I do not posses unimaginable fortune the way they imagine. So this fact only makes it a full house, my hand stacked against theirs; perceived wealth, good looks, brains, authority over their lives, and a beautiful wife. Wow, I think I might hate me too. "Check the ego on that guy" I would say, while slashing my bald tires. Wait, why would a rich guy drive around on these slicks? Maybe I was wrong about him...
Alright, now I am confused about how I feel about myself, never mind anyone else. I am off to a well appointed meeting room in a Holiday Inn to learn how to deal with difficult people. I hope there are some mirrors available.

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